Ok, so I’m not really into potty training. Adeia’s been a pro about it for awhile now, and I’m not exactly rushing to train Alethea. So this month, when Adeia suddenly developed a fear of going to the bathroom alone, I was….unthrilled.
So there’s been weeks of questioning, mild threats (“You’re a big girl, so if you pee on the floor I’m handing you the mop.”) and even begging.
“Why don’t you want to go by yourself?”
“I don’t want to.”
“But why?”
“I…need help.”
“But you don’t!”
“Well, I….forgot how…and now I do.”
And so on.
And this brings us to today. Today, I made good on my threats. I stonewalled her.
“Mom, I need to go potty!”
“Ok, go ahead.”
“I NEED HELP!”
“Sorry kiddo! You can do it!”
“MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!”
Silence.
“MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!”
Silence
“MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!”"”
Silence.
“Ok fine. Whatever.” *tinkling sounds*
After silently high-fiving myself several times, I decided it was time for an appropriately knowing parental pep-talk: “See? I knew you could do it! What were you so worried about!”
“Well….what if there was a
mumble mumble
…”
“A what?”
“A BLACKOUT Mom. A BLACK OUT. I’m afraid there will be a blackout, that’s why I want you in here… SO I WON’T BE ALONE IN THE DARK!”
Ok, let’s just pause here. First of all, I don’t think the slim probability of a blackout while I’m on the pot has ever crossed my mind. Secondly, where did my child even HEAR about a blackout? Are they teaching about power grids and energy consumption on Sesame Street now? Is this because I let her watch School House Rock?
This does explain a weird little quirk I’ve noticed lately: frantically turning all the lights out in every room in the house. She’s seriously been afraid that she’s single-handedly going to overload the grid by having too many lights on, or by running the bathroom fan AND the light at the same time. My three year old.
“Adeia…a blackout really only happens during something like a heatwave or a bad thunderstorm. It’s not going to happen just because the lights are on.”
“Oh. I didn’t realize that. Oh.” *hops off the potty*
