When mom’s happy….

…everyone is happy!

My mom said that a lot.

And it’s true. So today, I tackled the thing that annoys me most of ALL THINGS EVER. I call it “convenient forgetfulness.” Really, it’s not that anyone’s forgetting anything. It’s when my three-year-old sees that I’m busy, and seems to forget that the house has any rules at all, or consequences for breaking them. And then when I get off the phone, I’m greeted with total anarchy, and bust my lungs lecturing and doling out consequences that are resented and balked at, and then I spend all my energy enforcing them and ignoring the tirade of a tiny would-be-tyrant. Usually the rest of the day is spent at war. All for a phone call.

So today, I made a phone call. And suddenly, my vase had flowers stolen from it, my refrigerator was raided and rice was all over the floor, and during the ensuing time-out, a counterattack was staged, the bathroom raided, and toothpaste appeared in the hair of my children. Clearly, there were forces trying to get my goat.

Holy crap. Who is this kid?

So I told Adeia I needed some time to think over everything that had just happened. And after twenty minutes, I came up with this:

Her brain must be too tired to make good choices. What’s better for a tired brain than a nap? Am I right? And guess what? I told her really excitedly that she could have a free nap, because I care about her brain. Yep, I just love her that much. No sarcasm, super empathetic. Like, “it must be TERRIBLE to be so tired! I’d hate that!”

Remarkably, there was no resistance. She was so confused by the concern that she asked me for a consequence instead. i said, “No way! You’re way too tired for that!”

So after 20ish minutes of rest, I checked on her.

“Is your brain feeling better?”
“Yep! I have so much energy.”
“Well, I don’t know. I don’t want to tire you out. I mean, how can I be sure? What if you cleaned up your blocks. Do you have energy for that?”
“THERE’S SO MANY! I CAN’T DO IT!”
“Oh, don’t worry! I don’t want you to be over tired! You just rest some more. I’ll tuck you in!”
“NO NO WAIT! I can clean them up!”
“I’m so glad you’re feeling better.”

This was such a good deal for me. I am using this forever and ever. I wish I’d though of it sooner.

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