Lately I’ve been doing a lot of what I call “indoor gardening.” I don’t like physical labor, especially not when it involves dirt or sweat, but I like feeling like I’m cultivating something green. That, and I’m trying to offset the carbon footprint of my 22 week old pre-natal child. I now have two houseplants. I know I’ve mention my bonsai tree already, and my other plant is….some kind of generic houseplant. Anyway, I don’t know their names, because they haven’t told me yet. They’re kind of quiet. We’ll call them Ned and Bonnie, for the sake of conversation.
Bonnie the bonsai is well manicured and very peaceful. She’s a plant after my own heart, because instead of dirt she lives in a ceramic “zen” pot with a bunch rocks glued in so nothing falls out. She mostly just sits on a shelf and looks cool, which is something I can relate to. She secretly reads a lot of science fiction, but keeps her “Jane Austen” books out to impress company.
Ned is more like Hyde from “That Seventies Show,” except he doesn’t smoke pot, because that’s like canibalism for a plant. He’s kind of complex. He also suffers from an early childhood trauma, in which he was left in the trunk for three days without light or water. Ned sued and used the money to purchase a piece of sunny window real estate. The purchase was a bust, because Ned is allergic to direct sunlight, and he wilted greatly. He sold it to cover some of the further medical costs he incurred after his near fatal sun-stroke, and he now owns a small but beautifully shady mantle-top piece of real estate. Unfortunately, the medical bills involved in his recovery were so extensive that he has been unable to build a house to match the location, so he lives in the trailer-home of plant life, a plastic pot. He is still tragically sparse and withered from his double ordeal. (An inside source reports that he wets the bed if over-watered, and thus requires a “training plate.” Speculation is that he may still be suffering from post-traumatic stress.) However, I visited him recently and he seems to be a very well-adjusted, laid-back guy, considering the circumstances.
Speaking of growing things, check out Baby Tuma’s new page – it’s a tab at the top of the navigation.
I have so much respect for those who are gifted at indoor gardening. It takes a special something to keep plants alive around a one year old especially!
Glad that the baby has her own page! I’m jealous…maybe Caden needs his own page (we told you we picked a name, right?),,,
I kill all our houseplants. First there was the rubber plant that rotted at the roots because I fed him too much. Then There were the gerber daisies which suffered the same fate. And now the aloe plants which are currently dehydrating as we speak.
meh. So I don’t have a green finger on my body….
yeah….we’ll see how long these last. Bonnie is 2 weeks old, and Ned is 6 months old. Poor Ned.
yeah… our rubber plant was about six months old before it went to it’s watery grave
I had a lipstick plant (the flowers look like tubes of opened lipstick) that I THOUGHT was dead, but was resurrected after a few weeks of living in my parents bathroom near the giant windows.
Maybe it’s a cultured plant, and liked a little steam…like a plant spa….?
Um, I think any plant named a “lipstick plant” is probably a little bit dramatic. It was probably faking for attention.
We have plants?!
Refe has your apartment become so cluttered with furniture you didn’t notice the plants?
pretty soon there will be so many children cluttering that apartment that there will be no noticing anything else! =)
Hah, I had this mental picture of babies everywhere, on bookcases, in the cupboards, under the chairs….
and they would all be charmingly adorable…..