Awesome.

This is what happened today:

"I'm a coloring EXPERT!"

Opposite Day

I’ve tried to teach opposites to Adeia for some time now:

“Adeia! HOT and COLD are opposites! This is hot. What’s the opposite of hot?” “

“Very hot!”

“….Um, close. It’s not the same as hot though…. it’s different. It’s ‘not hot.’ If something is ‘not hot’ it’s……”

“Opposite!!!”

So you see how successful I’ve been… Anyway, today I decided to teach Alethea the word “open” because she kept closing my flip phone and wanting it open. And then screaming at the top of her lungs until I opened it. Which hurt my head. So I was showing her the phone and idiotically saying, “Open! Oooooo-PEN. OPEN!” when Adeia (who was feeling mischevous) piped up and said, “NO! CLOSED!”

In other good news, Alethea now screams “PEN!!!!” at the top of her lungs instead of yelling incoherantly. We’ll work on volume control next. (Although neither side of the family really has that down. )

Rugly Uggs.

We need a new rug soon. Ours is scrap from Home Depot, and it has some…..rough patches now. I’m looking for something darker, thickish, and in the brown or green family.

Not too much to ask right?

Here’s what I found: Oh wait. Nothing.

That’s right. Nothing. But here’s a bunch of rugs I DID find that hurt my eyes horribly. And I’ve included titles that I think fully capture the way I would feel if theses rugs were in my living room.

Imprisoned in the Forest of JoAnn's Depression: This is a mystery to me. I mean, it must have been designed by someone as they hid, in a bout of anti-social crafting, among the incalculable bolts of rejected fabric in JoAnn's Fabric. It's a terrifying place.

Portal of Sudden and Unforseen Doom:Yes, portals can open up, at any time, in the middle of your floor. My husband wanted to call this one "The Rectangular Butthole." That really would be a very doomed portal, so I guess we're on the same page on this.

Seven Week Salad:61QRULZg9PL._AA400_ I don't even know what to say about this. It's like a horrible mistake. I would be afraid to walk on it - it looks like it might rub off

The Slow Decay (cellular level)Why would I want this? This is like some of the terrible post-war modernism that shows up in the more disturbing sections of the Museum of Contemporary Art.

FREEDOM! I'm pretty sure Mel Gibson had this in his office for awhile.

Fran Drecher RIP This is essectially what would happen if the Nanny died on your living room floor, and you made her oufit into a commemorative carpet.

Lucky for all of us, these rugs are available on Target’s website!

Now we’re just showing off.

Most of you probably already saw this on facebook, but we’re really proud of Refe:

Yep. Refe was the first person ever featured. Pretty cool, huh?